(no subject)

[michanna]

So the other day Navin called me a feminist. Now normally, fine, label me however you like. I find the need for labels more and more ridiculous lately, but I certainly don’t find that label insulting. In this particular case though, something within me cringed and this is, I think, why: His vision of me as a feminist is based entirely on the fact that I refuse to allow him to speak of women as objects in my presence. We are not conquests, we are people and it sickens me that what he wants is not a relationship, but a willing sex slave.
Any woman with any intelligence or even any pride would have the same objection to him that I do and all he’s doing by calling me a feminist is cheapening the label and I don’t want to be a party to that.
Now, I wish I’d been able to figure out why I was so horrified at the time so that I could have spat it back in his face.

Comments

[antigone-ks.livejournal.com]

Why is it cheapening the label if he's used it because you refuse to allow women to be referred to as objects in your presence? That is, I think, part of being a feminist.

Any woman with any intelligence or even any pride would have the same objection to him

Sadly untrue. Especially in the presence of men, many women won't speak up at all.

[michanna.livejournal.com]

It's not him using the label for that reason that I object to, it's him using that label when that's the only reason. I haven't said or done anything in his presence which really merits the use of the term feminist, I have merely reacted with perfectly normal affront at hearing him refer to women as pieces of flesh that are there for his amusement. I don't know anyone who wouldn't react the same way to his comments.

[narikalen.livejournal.com]

Honey. Navim, for the two times I met him, seems like a chauvinistic pig. So, uh, why do you care what he calls you?

[michanna.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't really, I just couldn't figure out at the time why it made me angry since normally I'd consider it a compliment if someone said that to me.
As for why I spend so much time considering Navin's actions, I think it's because I've never met anyone like him before and I can't figure it out. I mean, how can he be so intelligent and not know that he's an ass? I can't figure out how it is that he actually exists ... Emily said the same thing once - that he was the comic relief in a bad romance movie and couldn't actually be a real person.
But yeah, I'm not really concerned, it's just that I have such a limited pool of human interaction.

[simsabalim.livejournal.com]

Ah, but you're an uppity female who wears pants and is in higher education. Obviously a feminazi; balls-buster; man-eater.

[rubber-boots.livejournal.com]

I really hope you do spit in his face next time, for yourself, and the rest of us pant-wearing, higher-education-seeking, man-eaters.

[simsabalim.livejournal.com]

I'm not a man-eater. Except maybe in the fun way.

But I fully condone some sort of minor violence done to his person.

[michanna.livejournal.com]

Ha! That would have been funny! He would have gone all OCD 'need to wash - with bleach' on my ass. Heh.
Too bad I find the concept of spitting rather disgusting.

[simsabalim.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't have a coherent thought, but I understand where you're coming from. It's always interesting when I come across a new idea, even if I don't agree with it. Maybe... especially... if I don't agree with it.

I've always considered myself a feminist. But it wasn't until my first year of university that I realised some people consider "feminist" a dirty word. (You mean that some people think "feminism" means man-hater?) ...Really?)

I wouldn't know how to react to him either. His reaction is just so beyond my knowledge or experience.

I wanted you to know that someone feels the same way you do, even if I'm not sure how to voice it.